Christmas Pudding Crochet...It's never too early...

Thinking about Christmas in October was leaving Bob feeling a little flat...

Can't help myself really, and now I probably shouldn't be driving too far from the nearest maternity ward, I'm conducting conversations with crochet in the comfort of my own home. They're really quite educated, and have some interesting opinions on the current US election campaign...

Anyway, the mini puddings are just a development of the pumpkin pattern I recently posted (still have two looking for homes, and I'm worried about how they'll take the news on Thursday that they are somewhat surplus to requirements...). Just crochet half-and-half brown and white, adding two green mini circles (ch4, jn with slst, dc around, jn with slst) and a couple of red french knots for berries on the top.

If you want to indulge in complete festive tackiness, the phone holder is super-simple:
Measurements depend on the size of your phone, or even go large with an iPad version...

Chain enough brown and white to cover the length of your phone/device plus a couple of stitches over, at a ration of two-thirds brown and one-third white.

Alternate rows of single and double crochet for a tight weave and chunky finish. Keep going until you have just enough to wrap around your phone snuggly (you want it to stretch a little to hold it securely). Cast off.

Using the tail, sew up the bottom and sides (I put the seam in the middle at the back just because it's a tad neater).

Join in green (to represent the holly) at the top and go around in single crochet twice. Fasten off and work in loose ends. Add three red french knot berries to the side...bit jaunty that.

Add two beady eyes if you fancy conversation, or omit if you want to pretend this could in any way be a chic example of modern design.

Diddy Crochet Pumpkin Giveaway!

I have 5 mini pumpkins looking for a new home! The first 5 people to e-mail me their name and address at jencrumpuk<at>yahoo<dot>com will get one of these little chaps in the post as soon as humanly possible (depending where you live in the world...) Just because I'm nice...and starting to get over-run with small orange pumpkins....
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If you want to make your own, you're going to need:
Orange and green yarn (really small amounts!)
Two black beads and invisible thread
A crochet hook (about size 3 but it really doesn't matter too much)
A smidge of toy wadding (or cotton wool from the bathroom cabinet)
Darning needle and normal sewing needle

To make:

In Orange:
-Chain at least 12 stitches (about 10cm depending on tension and your hook/yarn size);
-Turn, and work a row of single crochet, starting with the second loop along from needle. At end of row, ch1 and turn.
-Keep working rows of single crochet until you have a rectangle approx 12-15cm in length.
-Fasten off and leave a tail of 15cm for sewing up.
-With needle and tail, gather the sides and fasten tightly (this is the base), then matching the stitches in the cast on and fastened off rows sew up the sides.
- Add stuffing, then gather the remaining side and fasten tightly, passing the needle through top and base (through the middle) to form the desired pumpkin shape.

In Green:
- Chain 5, and join into a circle with slip stitch;
- Chain 2, then double crochet into the circle until all the way around snuggly. Join circle with slipstitch;
-Chain one, then carefully remove loop from hook and pass up the middle of the circle. The wrong side of the circle forms the base of the stalk, you are now going to work the stalk up the middle!
- Chain 7-10 stitches, then turn and single crochet twice up and down this row. Fasten off with a reasonable tail.
- With needle and tail, secure stalk to other side of the circle. If you gather through the stalk stitches you can adjust the tension to add a curve which looks quite cute.
- Place the stalk on top of pumpkin and sew with a couple of stitches under the base. Fasten off and trim.
- Add eyes!

If you work this in double crochet, or even triple, you get a chunkier pumpkin -play around with the original orange rectangle width for taller pumpkins!

Sewing Essentials...

I have several projects on the go at once, mainly because my concentration varies at different times of the day and I can't do anything complicated when Sam is about or I'm knackered...So I'm forever shifting my basic kit between rooms and baskets of 'stuff'. What I needed was a small pouch I can keep the essentials in (scissors, measuring tape and needlebook) that can keep everything together. This is also handy for putting in my handbag for emergencies (and IKEA/junk shop measuring moments).

I basically made two crochet squares, one side circular (follow the circle guide on the placemat post) and the other striped, out of chunky yarn. I used double crochet as it's dense and the scissors won't poke out the sides. I also picked dark colours so it won't get grubby quick. Then, wrong-sides together I crocheted around three sides, turned the right way in, added a small button loop (about 15 ch, single crocheted up and down twice) and a button (which I think came of a 1970's cardi my Dad used to have...)

Other ideas: Add a long cord, make up in bright colours and this would make a cute purse for a little girl's Christmas present...Make the circle all orange, embroider a pumpkin face and add a cord, and you have a Trick or Treat bag...Use as a gift bag for another knitted item, maybe some snuggly Merino bed socks....

Let it Sew, Let it Sew, Let it Sew...

It's getting to that cheesy time of year, and I have to confess that I am a reformed scrooge...This morning my Christmas cards turned up (more of that next week) which was very exciting, and yesterday I 'helped' (read 'hindered') Han in making some handmade tree decorations. Despite a traumatic sewing history involving lessons at school and sewing herself to her work, by the end of the afternoon, no-one had cried and she had a found her stitchy-groove.

Han had got the initials of key family members printed in a large sized font (I think it was at least 132??!) and then glued them onto a cereal box to make a sturdy template. Cut two pieces of glittery felt (who knew this existed?), ribbon, a simple running stitch around the outside, a smidge of toy wadding and some jingly bells and voila!

These make lovely little presents that can be used again next year, or even gift tags...I like the idea of bottles of homemade sloe gin with the initial of the recipient around the neck...but then I like the idea of sloe gin in general.

Googlie-eyed Aliens!

Check out these critters on the Wednesday Project...they're currently hanging in my fridge and amusing me greatly...

Crocheted heatproof mat...

It doesn't sound terribly sexy, and my initial title was 'Rasta-Mat' but that only works if you have Cbeebies and a child under 5... I'd never crocheted in circles before and it's really easy! Anyway, I had a go and covered a mat, which we've been using to park the teapot on. Grab an old cork mat and off you go!

You will need:
Acrylic yarn scraps (just because they are easy to clean and won't shrink, but wool is awesomely heatproof if you spill less than me)
Hook (choose a size relative to the yarn)
Old cork mat
Darning needle

To Make:
-Ch4 and jn with Slp Stch;
-If working in trebles, ch3 and then treble enough into the ring to fill it snuggly, join with slp stch. (If doubles, ch2 etc).
- In the first round, ch3 (or 2) and work 2 trb (or dch) into each stitch.
- In the second round increase every other stitch and continue in this manner until it is wide enough to fit your mat. The basic rule is on the 3rd round, increase every 2 stitches, on the 4th round increase every three and so on. Feel free to experiment with a variety a doubles, trebles and singles depending on the scraps you have.
-Once you get to the edge, complete one circle without any increases to allow for the depth of the mat, then fit the mat inside, flip over and start in the opposite manner with decreases. For example, my mat is about the size of a cake plate, so I decreased (by every 6th stitch in the first round, then 5th and so on...).
-When you reach the middle, cast off leaving a 4 inch piece of yarn, then using a darning needle, secure the middle stitches. Cork mat secured in a blanket.

Ruffling Your Granny Square....

Finished the buggy-blanket and got really excited when I learnt how to make scalloped edges -It's all gone a little bit 'Copacabana' around the edges, but adds some weight to the finished piece and feels really lovely...So anyway, another one done, and now available on etsy.com (Christmas gift anyone?)...

Little Miss Party Bags...

Sam's been invited to a party (very exciting) for 4 girls at nursery who are turning 4. The parents are really sweet and said not to worry about gifts as there are 4 of them, but it's nice to bring along something..so...

These little shopping bags are really quick and easy to whip up out of bits and bobs from my fabric box. It didn't really use a pattern -just made sure that any patched pieces fitted to A5 size with a 2cm turn over seam allowance at the top. Piece all the fabric, then before you sew the sides and bottom, make sure you turn over and sew the top seam, add any embellishments that need to be done on a machine, and add handles. The handles are a simple strip of fabric, with seams rolled, pressed and stitched on one side. Easy peasy. Whizz up the sides, turn the right way in, press and add buttons and beads. Smile.

Top Tip: Press, press and press again! Use of a bloomin' hot iron will really make the difference to the overall look and it also makes stitching remarkably easy if everything has been pressed flat.

Eating, Reading, Fixing...

Eating: Carrot cake -this was another Delia recipe from her baking book, that uses oil instead of butter...Initially suspicious, but makes a really ace cake! Tweaked it a bit with some of my pumpkin spice mix, orange drizzle icing on top and chopped apricots in the the middle as that's what I like...

a lovely surprise!

Reading: The Simple Things Issue 2 -really enjoying these, especially the cooking articles (Pregnancy obsession) and the way that articles are separated into dawn, day and dusk. The photography is beautiful too...

Fixing: All the loose ends on my granny square blanket which makes me go cross-eyed, even the glasses have been put back into use (not since I left work!). Also switched from sewing the squares together to crocheting them with slip stitch which gives you such a neater finish I'm converted! Now for some edging...

And finally: The big crochet flower swap (run by The Making spot) came through this week with a beautiful crochet flower made by Natasja King @ www<dot>crochetime<dot>wordpress<dot>com... I'm going to either add a magnet from my fridge or a brooch back...Check out her blog for more pretty hooky things!

Black Widow Spider Cupcakes...How to...

In my head I would be able to control boiling hot sugar and make neat spider's webs, but the reality was far different, but surprisingly glamorous...I might even be tempted to wear these on my head as fascinators to Ascot...If I liked horse racing....

Anyway, it's easy to do, but make sure there are no little helpers and a washing up bowl full of cold water on stand-by is sensible too.

You will need:
Small batch of cupcakes (6-8), iced with buttercream and chilled in the fridge.
1/4 cup caster sugar
3 tbsp cold water
4-5 drops black food colouring
Small stainless steel saucepan
Greaseproof paper
Metal tea spoon

To make:
It's really important the cupcakes are chilled so any residual warmth from the hot sugar doesn't have a catastrophic effect on the icing.

Place the sugar and water in a pan and heat. Do not stir!! You can swoosh it with the handle so that the sugar boils evenly, but if you put a spoon in the sugar will crystallise and spoil.  When the sugar is just about to turn a very pale yellow, turn off the heat and add the drops of food colouring. Swoosh around until incorporated.

Quickly, dip the teaspoon in the black sugar and drizzle a pattern onto the paper. Keep going until all the mix is used -be free-form and make sure there aren't too many gaps between the strands. If the mix sets, you can just about get away with reheating provided you are quick and don't stir!!

Leave to set for a couple of minutes, then break up the patterns into pretty chunks and gently press into the icing. Voila!!

Don't worry if this is a bloomin' mess the first couple of times, thankfully it's relatively low-impact on the stock cupboard and practise does make perfect.

Mulling it over....

Getting a start on the Christmas presents has never smelt so good -my kitchen is lovely (for a change), this make having successfully masked the pong of the weekend's rugby kit. When it gets cold I get all nostalgic (for many things) but mainly German Christmas markets and mulled wine. It's fabulous -a great pairing of internal warmth and the smell that lets you know that good times are on their way, despite the weather.

These giant mulled wine t-bags are really easy to make, are great gifts over the festive season with a bottle of plonk, and can be used for a variety of other uses if you're not a drinker. I made 6 big bags (will flavour a bottle of red) for less than £10, but depending on the size you make (you can half the size and the bottle, but seriously??) and what you already have in the store cupboard it can be done cheaper.

You will need:
1 piece of 50cm x 50cm Muslin (loose weave allows you to see a bit of what's inside)
Cotton and a needle
Kitchen string (for tying onto a saucepan handle)
Parcel label (to write on instructions)
Small cellophane bags to store

1 large orange and 2 lemons, peeled
Per bag: 1 x star anise, 1 x cinnamon stick, 1/2 a nutmeg, 5-8 whole cloves, 3 x demerara sugar cubes.
For the spicy one: 10 x peppercorns and a large tsp on dried chilli flakes.

To Make:
- Spread the peel onto a baking tray and (whilst keeping an eye) dry out in an oven for about 30 mins at 150.
- Cut the muslin into 12 equal rectangles (just smaller than a postcard should fit the fabric) and cut the string into 20cm lengths, one for each sachet.
- Onto 6 of the rectangles, stitch a halved length of string into each corner.
- Then, adding a back rectangle, sew around three sides of the rectangles in a running stitch.
- Add in enough of the mix per bag (once the peel is out of the oven!!) and then sew up the top.
- Write brief instructions onto each of the parcel labels, decorate festively and then place into a cellophane bag and seal (This will stop everything in your house smelling and the spices loosing their impact if you make them very early).

If your sewing skills are utterly pants, just portion the mix into the cellophane bags with a label. It still looks pretty cool and does the same job, just remember to serve the mulled wine through a tea strainer!!

To Serve:
Chuck a bag into a large pan with 1 bottle of red, and the juice of 1 lemon and one orange. Simmer until the strength you like it. Don't boil as the alcohol will evaporate.

Variations:
- For the spicy one, add a large slug of brandy and don't leave the house for 48 hours.
- For a non-alcoholic tipple, use half a carton of cranberry juice, half of apple juice and a generous measure of blackcurrant or berry cordial...this way kids can join in with a warm cup after fireworks night!
- Infuse in a saucepan with some full fat milk, which you can then make an egg custard out of...great with apple pie or winter brulee.
- Tip the contents into a large bottle of vodka and leave to infuse for at least two months. Great as a gift.
- Bung in your airing cupboard for snuggly smelling towels and sheets.
- Actually put into your husband's rugby kit bag as a form of defence against the dark arts of smelliness.

Vintage Finds in Cambridge...

Popped along to Judy's Affordable Vintage Fair in the Guildhall Cambridge yesterday, and despite the disappointment of my preg-ness (meaning nothing exciting could fit!) it was a treasure trove of shininess. Top finds included:

Butterick Dungaree Pattern: going to find myself some brown corduroy and rustle some of these up for Sam...Might have to swap the teddy bear applique for a tractor.

Shiny glass buttons: only a pound and pretty for a cardi.

Arrow Brooches: top find, makes me wish that a) I wasn't scared of flying and b) I could be a Pan Am hostess from 1965.

Sign up for regular updates at www.judysvintagefair.co.uk and pop along to a fair. They appear all over and are bloomin' affordable...there was also cake....

Eating, Reading, Fixing...

Eating: Lunch at Cafe Rouge with husband (payment for painting the hall ceiling, getting in the loft and hoovering under the bed...), followed by coffee and a big old lemon meringue in bed. If you're ever in this neck of the woods, Halsey's Deli in Hitchin does the best meringues, about the size of your head and stacked up in the window like a shop from Harry Potter.

Reading: The new Kirstie Allsop book that Jim pre-ordered for me ~'Kirstie's Vintage Home'. I'll be having a go at p. 154, the crocheted jellyfish first.

Fixing: This is a bit of a granny square heap challenge in an attempt to clear up some of the odds and ends from my yarn tub. For granny square inspiration, pop along to Pip Lincolne's blog 'Meet Me at Mike's' and join the granny a day project (#grannyaday).

A pinch of spice and all things nice...

So after a couple of weeks of trying to track down Pumpkin Spice mix in the UK, and subsequently realising it would cost me at least £20 to import some, I figured there had to be an easier way! Having cross-referenced several pie recipes and with a little trial and error (and plenty of sneezing) this is what I came up with:

Bodged-pie spice mix:
Equal quantities of ground allspice, cinnamon and nutmeg.


Mix on a saucer or in a shallow bowl first as this helps to gauge quantity. I found a cafe (as in 'Caff', nothing posher) shaker for 94p in a local hardware shop that I thought was cute, made a small cone out of greaseproof paper and scooped in the mix. A cute sticker on the front (thanks Kate!) and we were done.

Five uses for your spice shaker:
1. Make your own spiced coffee -either sprinkle on the top of some cream if you're being really cheeky, or stir in;

2. Stir into hot milk before bedtime -even better when lazing in a hot bath, might actually help you wind down and sleep!;

3. Sprinkle over some piped butter cream icing on the top of cupcakes (even better if the sponge is carrot cake);

4. Add to some melted butter with a tblsp of brown sugar, drizzle over just popped corn, spread on a baking tray and pop into an oven for 5 mins until crunchy again;

5. Add to pie!!

A Defence of Jam and Jerusalem...

A jam wall, physically fending off EU legislation...

So the EU (not content with investing time and more money into tackling the economic crisis and making delayed decisions about extraditing terrorists) have decided to pick on the stalwart, nay the backbone of British society -the Women's Institute. Although it's not just the WI who are targeted -anyone who has been making their own preserves and perhaps selling or trading their surplus at the legions of fantastic farmer's  and church markets around the country could also be at risk.

Their argument is not necessarily about the quality of the product within the jam jar, but the nature of the jar itself. Glass is apparently porous (although judging by my wall of preservey-defiance, some of it has been well contained without leaching for at least two years...) and therefore bugs, bacteria and other 'contaminant' nasties could get to the produce inside. Secondly, the lids might not be suitable for reuse, therefore questioning the sterility of the jar. All of this sounds a tad like scientific nit-picking that covers up the real attack -that jam makers are incapable of being scrupulously clean and hygienic when preparing their preserves!

The whole point of preserving fruit and veggies in this manner is to make them last longer. My mum has regularly told me (amongst other things...) that my Nan and Grandfather gathered enough fruit and made enough jam and marmalade to have a jar a week for the whole year. Why? Because to buy jam in that quantity to give your kids some tea after school is expensive! And at this point in time, with the economy in such a buggers muddle (EU take note) we are all a little stretched and many of us are turning to homemade fairs and markets as sources of food.

In fairness this is perhaps an unintended consequence of the economic down-turn -that more people are trying to make their own produce, to trade with friends and preserve what they can forage from hedgerows and neglected fruit trees, so that they don't have to pay inflated supermarket prices for a lesser quality product. I would also argue at this point that the small producer has the time, ability, and down-right pride in their work to ensure that whatever they put into perfectly clean jam jars is of the highest quality. I know that food that I buy at markets made by local, traditional producers has been done so with care and attention, and no, it might not conform to some marketing executive's notion of what ideal 'sausage size' should be, but it tastes brilliant.

So please, make your jam.Trade your jam. Sell your jam with pride. Because if we stop, I can easily see a day when I will have to take out public liability insurance to serve a homemade birthday cake at my son's birthday party, where health inspectors will be knocking on the door on Christmas Day to check the core temperature of my turkey and I won't be able to sing Jerusalem loudly without issuing ear defenders to the neighbours.

Add to the debate with your own jam wall pictures at Instagram #wijam, or share your rants (or renditions of Jerusalem) here or on Facebook!

Show us your fangs!!

I've always liked those neat and tidy iced biscuits you can buy -and was really surprised how staright forward it is to mimic the effect at home. I'm not saying my sugary-bats are up there, but they look pretty fangy.

I used St. Delia of Smith's gingerbread men recipe as it is utterly brilliant and fool-proof and you can re-work the pastry several times (which is excellent if you have a little 'help'). Then I waited until the 'help' was busy elsewhere before I embarked on the fiddly bit as it would have looked like a bat massacre...

You will need:
Powdered icing sugar
Paintbrush (small)
Couple of tbsp water
Black colouring (the Silver Spoon brand has a really intense colour that doesn't go grey)
Small piping tubes, ready filled (I used a Sainsbury's chocolate selection)

Technique (I use this in the loosest sense of the word!):
Using the ready filled tubes, pipe about 3-5mm from the edge a border around the outside of your biscuit. Try to go reasonably fast and allow the icing to 'drop' from the tube onto the cookie -I know this sounds a tad dare devil but you actually get a smoother line. Set aside to dry a little.

Mix up the powdered sugar, colour and water. The quanities you need depend on the number of cookies, but it's easier to start with a small amount and make more. You need to have the thickness of thick cream (that you can spoon) or cake batter. Using the brush dollop the icing as in-fill onto the cookie and push to the edges. You need to do this quite thickly to get a shiny finish -it's like you're shoving it around rather than painting it! Put to one side to set.

Go back to the ready filled tubes and add wing details and fangs. allow to set before wrapping or allowing small people to eat, unless you want to have a black icing disaster on your sofa...I speak from experience!

Stuff a pumpkin!

This rocked. It fed two of us to the gunnels so would stretch to 4 with salady-type offerings and accompaniments easily...It all depends on your pumpkin size too:

You will need:
1 medium pumpkin
1 large onion
2" of chunky chorizo sausage
1/2 cup uncooked rice
1/2 cup sultanas
1/2 cup pine nuts
2 pork chops (or chunky bits of bacon, or chicken fillets, whatever you fancy, or none if veggie)
2tsp turmeric
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 tsp dried thyme
Salt and pepper to taste

To Make:
1. Toast your nuts (teehee) and set aside.
2. Put rice in saucepan, add spices and herbs, and double the amount of water. I boil the water off then bung a lid on quick and steam to finish for 15 mins with the heat off.
3. In a big pan or wok, add chopped onion and chopped chorizo and cook until softish. While that's doing it's thing, slice the top off your pumpkin, scoop out the seeds and stringy bits, then try and scoop as much of the edible flesh out as possible. Chop this roughly.
4. Chop the meat into 1cm bits and add to the pan, brown and mix. At this stage if it looks like it's all going a tad crispy, add a couple of tbsps water. Chuck in sultanas.
5. Add the steamed rice and season.
6. Put pumpkin in suitable casserole dish receptacle and then stuff your mix into the pumpkin. I resisted the urge at this stage to carve eyes and mouth so the insides could splurge out. Any extra put around the side. Cover with foil and wack in a pre-heated oven at about 180 for about an hour (again, depends on your pumpkin size).
7. Carve up to serve and sprinkle with the nuts. Job done!

Here come the boys...

So I've been a little obsessed by gingerbread and Christmas this week, and have actually started talking to the little dudes that have jumbled their way out of my work box...

(Top row from left to right)

Alf is a friendly and dependable type of gingerbread man -a bit shy around the gingerbread ladies but you know he'll always help you out in a fix. Not one for flashy dressing he sports three glass buttons down his front and a functional orange ribbon.This is one Christmas tree decoration that could easily cheer up your kitchen throughout the year...you'll get used to him hanging around.

Rupert is a bit of a wolly -we love him really but he is best described as bounder! He tries hard, but always looks a little awkward-judging by the fluted buttons, if gingerbread men worde shirts, his would be ruffled.Probably best in his role as Hugh's wing-man, you won't fail to love him, exasperating as that might be!

Hugh has a big heart! Quintessentially British, he bimbles a bit and has trouble expressing himself, but once you've work your charms, Hugh will be smitten with you forever.A lover, not a fighter, this little gingerbread lothario really needs to be placed on a tree next to an angel, or fairy, or somewhere his big heart and felty hugs can be appreciated.

(Bottom row, left to right)

An intellectual and dandy, Marcel will bring a touch of something dapper to the Christmas tree with his natty green bow tie and well trimmed moustache. He can get a little above his station and in a previous bakery related life, was known to order the flour and eggs about a bit. But if you have some disorganised baubles and truculent tinsel on your tree, Marcel is the gent to sort it all out.

Clark is a bit of a thrill seeker and would best suit a spot high up on your Christmas tree where he can test his long-standing vertigo to the limits. With his chest emblazoned with an applique white star with gold trim, Clark always has a cheeky smile for the gingerbread ladies, and hopes that they see him as the baking equivalent of Evil Knievel...

Eating, Reading, Fixing...

Eating: George and the Dragon biscuits (Thanks Aimee Balaam and a lovely coffee shop in Buntingford)

Reading: 'The Simple Things' -Launch edition out now, lovely articles on Berlin which made me all nostalgic...

Fixing: Pilfered old lampshade from sister-in-law's house...It was on the skip pile, honest...

Honey I shrunk your jumper...

I have a stash of my husband's jumpers under the spare bed, documenting laundry shame over the past 6 years... Even though every washing machine I've used has a specific 'wool' setting, something comes over me and I am rendered incapable of protecting natural fibres from hot water and inevitable shrinkage...

No matter, all the more for me! A shrunken jumper takes on a felted feel and becomes more snuggly as a result. Add some applique shapes (this time I've chosen autumn leaves) and a touch of embroidery and hurrah, old jumper, new life! At least I'm not chilly...